KFEB 406: Elves (1989)

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It’s beginning to look a lot like Boogaloo! In Elves, the great Dan Haggerty is an alcoholic chain-smoking ex-cop who spends his first day as a store Santa chasing a mythological murderer and a bunch of Nazis! How’s that for a film pitch?!

Welcome back for more Kung Fu Electric Boogaloo. In season 4, “Holi-Damned”, your five hosts continue their search for the ultimate B-Movie with a holiday binge of 8 low budget gems.

Unaware of sinister goings-on involving her grandfather and his Nazi pals, a non-festive teen named Kirsten sulks her way through the Christmas season as she works at the snack counter of a local department store.

Mike McGavin (Dan Haggerty) is an ex-cop who lost his badge when he lost control of his alcoholism. Jobless, penniless, and recently served a notice of eviction from his ramshackle trailer home, Mike turns to his old friend – the manager of the department store – for help, and winds up becoming the store Santa after the prior Santa is murdered by the elf. Without a proper home, Mike sneaks into the store at night to sleep in the storage room and live off the snack counter left-overs. One night, he hears Kirsten and her friends, who have also sneaked in, frolicking through the store as they wait for their boyfriends to show up for an all-night party. A shadowy Nazi group arrives instead, planning to kidnap Kirsten and find an elf so the master race can finally be made reality.

As always, the KFEB hosts provide ratings for the films that are based on the fun, enjoyment, and craziness of the film. These scores will be tabulated and an on-going grid will keep you up to date with the search.

So sit back and enjoy the laughs as KFEB finds out why the Elves aren’t working for Santa anymore!

After listening check in with The Octagon, our on-going ranking of the movies covered in KFEB.

Subscribe on iTunes and Youtube so you don’t miss an episode! Welcome back to fourth season of Kung Fu Electric Boogaloo as we learn the true meaning of Christmas – killing Nazis!

Note: Brad is off this week.

There can be only one

The on-going list of the top b-movies as rated by the Cult Film Showdown team!
Join them each episode as they tirelessly search for the Ultimate B-Movie!

Film	Schlock Appeal	More Heart Than Budget	WTF Moments	Memorable Moments	Crazy Concept	Score
Out of:	40-----------------------------	40-----------------------------	40-----------------------------	40-----------------------------	40-----------------------------	100-----------------------------
Hard Rock Zombies	38	40	40	30	39	92.5
Ninja III: The Domination	37	35	35	32	34	86.5
Miami Connection	38	38	36	30	31	86.5
Samurai Cop	38	32	38	32	33	85.5
Frankenhooker	33	34	32	32	40	85.5
Flesh Gordon Meets The Cosmic Cheerleaders	37	34	33	32	36	85
Flesh Gordon	34	36	37	31	29	83.5
Wolf Guy	35	28	39	32	33	83.5
Deadly Prey	39	33	39	32	23	83
Frankenstein Island	38	31	38	21	38	83
Maniac (1934)	34	31	38	24	35	83
KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park	38	20	33	32	34	82
Furious (1984)	34	31	40	25	30	81
The Apple	27	30	38	34	33	81
Road to Hell	30	40	25	26	38	79.5
Raw Force	38	29	33	23	35	79
Y'ur Height Only	37	34	34	28	25	79
R.O.T.O.R.	34	33	39	25	25	78
Howling 2: Your Sister..	35	23	37	31	30	78
H.O.T.S.	32	29	30	33	28	77
Chopping Mall	32	34	29	26	31	77
Crank 2: High Voltage	29	29	33	25	34	75
Deathstalker II	34	37	35	27	17	75
Frankenstein Conquers The World	31	27	32	25	34	74.5
Elves	31	22	32	27	36	74
Flash Gordon	34	19	34	34	27	73
Screwballs	33	34	35	28	13	72.5
Loose Screws	35	32	34	31	10	72
Starcrash	31	33	36	23	20	71.5
Ninja The Violent Sorcerer	34	27	34	14	34	71.5
Traxx	31	26	30	29	27	71.5
Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky	34	21	37	28	23	71.5
Preppies	30	27	37	27	17	70
The Doll	24	29	40	16	30	69.5
Gutterballs	28	29	32	29	22	69
Space Mutiny	31	30	33	20	23	68.5
Malibu Express	34	24	33	22	26	68.5
Gymkata	34	17	30	26	30	68.5
Santa's Slay	26	25	35	29	21	68
Tales From The Quadead Zone	29	26	31	09	39	68
Spookies	28	31	32	19	25	67.5
Incredibly Strange Creatures...	28	33	26	16	31	67
Silent Night, Deadly Night 2	31	24	31	25	23	67
Big City Blues	26	27	31	28	21	66.5
Crippled Masters	31	26	20	20	36	66.5
Isle of the Snake People	37	24	35	14	22	66
Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo	29	32	27	31	12	65.5
	31	26	30	17	23	65.5
American Shaolin	25	27	30	25	19	65
Game of Death II	34	14	36	18	30	65
Cabin Boy	27	26	17	29	30	65
Reform School Girls	33	22	29	24	22	65
Fatal Deviation	26	32	34	19	18	64.5
Star Wars Holiday Special	22	9	36	22	40	64.5
Stone Cold	34	22	35	26	12	64.5
Dead Heat	27	25	32	20	25	64.5
Panther Squad	31	24	34	15	22	64
One Down, Two To Go	27	25	35	17	23	63.5
Killer Klowns From Outer Space	29	30	18	25	25	63.5
They're Playing With Fire	21	29	27	24	28	63.5
Up the Creek	27	19	29	29	24	63
Cast a Deadly Spell	18	31	21	31	27	63
Phase IV	20	29	25	29	22	62.5
Dracula vs Frankenstein (1971)	28	24	32	15	24	61.5
Terror in Beverly Hills	34	16	37	25	10	61
Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time	30	23	29	22	18	60
Class of 1999	26	31	17	23	25	60
Caveman	22	24	17	23	33	59.5
The Weird Man	26	28	28	14	22	59
Revenge of the Nerds	17	25	23	37	16	59
Battle Beyond the Stars	25	40	17	22	14	58
Planet of the Vampires	13	39	11	30	20	57.5
The Monster Squad	21	33	14	33	14	57.5
Dracula AD 1972	26	22	19	24	24	57.5
Vampire Hookers	32	22	22	19	20	57.5
Spellcaster	24	24	25	18	23	57
Rock and Roll Nightmare	24	26	27	13	24	57
The Barbarians	28	27	30	16	13	57
Bloodsport	25	22	23	19	12	56.5
Transylvania Twist	20	31	17	28	15	56.5
Chained Heat	32	27	26	19	9	56.5
Enter the Ninja	24	23	23	22	23	56.5
Omega Cop	28	20	30	16	18	56
Cherry 2000	24	25	19	23	23	56
Avenging Force	27	26	27	19	15	56
Skidoo	18	07	28	30	30	55.5
Equalizer 2000	30	28	31	12	10	55.5
Dead End Drive In	25	27	9	25	24	55
Hercules	25	624	24	16	23	55
UHF	18	27	15	33	16	53.5
Breathing Fire	27	22	29	12	15	52.5
Warlock 2: The Armageddon	26	26	19	20	14	51.5
Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny	22	07	35	10	27	50.5
Street Law	18	32	17	22	13	50
Creepozoids	29	24	22	14	9	50
Son of Kong	22	22	22	17	13	49
King of the Kickboxers	27	27	19	15	12	49
Monolith Monsters	22	21	14	20	19	49
Santa Claws (1996)	27	20	32	08	09	49
American Drive-In	23	25	24	12	14	49
Cyborg Cop	28	18	29	10	14	48.5
I Like To Hurt People	21	20	20	13	21	47.5
Dungeons & Dragons	28	02	29	18	19	47
American Ninja 2	26	17	25	12	13	46.5
The Big Bet	22	14	26	16	14	46
Advs of Hercules	23	16	28	8	17	46
The Hebrew Hammer	25	14	22	14	16	45.5
Santa With Muscles	23	15	29	08	16	45.5
Captain America 2: Death Too Soon	21	12	28	21	08	45
Trick Baby	12	25	09	25	16	43.5
American Ninja	20	14	21	12	20	43.5
Blood of Heroes	13	24	10	19	21	43.5
Halloween 6: Curse of Micheal Myers: Producer's Cut	18	18	21	07	21	42.5
Race With The Devil	19	12	24	16	14	42.5
New Year's Evil	18	17	24	14	11	42
America 3000	19	12	20	8	25	42
The Tomb	22	18	22	9	13	42
Shootfighter: Fight to the Death	24	18	19	15	09	41.5
2020 Texas Gladiators	23	19	17	11	12	41
Battle in Outer Space	19	22	17	10	13	40.5
The Great Rupert	13	20	16	14	17	40
Gore Gore Girls	18	19	21	9	11	39
Jocks	11	08	31	10	14	37
Space Rage	18	09	26	12	09	37
Ramblin Man	17	16	17	12	12	37
Warrior Queen	26	15	16	9	6	37
Abraxas	18	14	18	13	10	36.5
The New Kids	15	12	18	13	14	36
American Psycho 2: All American Girl	20	06	26	09	10	35.5
Tale of the Mummy	13	08	25	13	09	34
Naked Cage	25	15	16	8	5	33.5
Among The Shadows	13	08	16	13	14	32
State Park	17	15	19	10	06	31
Viva Knievel	14	8	17	11	14	31
Hot Stuff	15	8	10	11	15	29.5
Foodfight	14	0	19	10	8	25.5
China Salesman	13	2	16	7	8	22

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